My mother has always loved flowers. When I was around seven, I went in our backyard and picked a flower to give her. I came in with a big smile and handed it to her. Her face lit up as she said thank you. She asked me why I gave her a flower and I said I wanted to sleep over my friend John’s house. BUSTED!

She handed the flower back  and said, “Robert, never give a flower because you want something in return. Give it from your heart without expecting anything.” I felt bad, and handed the flower back and told her I’m giving it from my heart and I don’t expect to sleep at John’s house. She took it, smiled and put it in water. Then she said, “Well if you really did give it from your heart, we will see tomorrow. If the flower unfolds and blooms, then it came from your heart.“

The next morning, I was the first to wake. I ran to the flower and saw how full and beautiful it was. When she came into the kitchen she smiled and said, “I’m glad it came from your heart!” That simple parenting moment has taught me so much in life.

A few years after her death, I wrote “Symbol of a Flower” in her honor. This Valentine’s Day, the poem is added to our Final Portrait Charity; a special project for terminally ill cancer children.

Symbol of a Flower

A Flower is given to someone you love for many reasons,
some good, some bad, some just flow with the seasons.

A Flower can say I’m sorry when trouble is abound,
A Flower can say Smile when life is getting you down.

A Flower can be flattering but at the same time deceiving,
when a Flower is given for intent it does no justice to the one receiving.

But when a Flower is given from the heart it’s symbol is even better,
all of it’s magical powers unfold and bloom sending a warm feeling that will glow forever.

- Robert Louis Vanelli

The Count Begins

Never count your friends on sunny days
for they all will be around,
Count your friends on the rainy days when
the clouds are grey and lightening shakes the ground.

It is then you painfully see the
type of friend they really are,
when Life delivers a sharp blow
do they stay and try to heal the scar?

The friends you count during
this storm are ones to commend,
these people stood their ground
these people are labeled “True Friend”.

When the rain finally stops
and your new day is here,
you will be amazed that after a
violent storm a rainbow can appear.

Be careful not to begin your count
see what friends the rainbow can make,
remember, these are not your true friends
their loyalty is fake.

Keep sight of the friends that
remained when the rain poured down,
now begin your count of real friends
ones you know will always be around.

- Robert Louis Vanelli

So, this brings me to my post. During the experiment I needed content to fill the book. Writing out my notes and learning a new format wasn’t working. I realized December 28 would have been my brother John’s 60th birthday. He passed away from cancer back in 2001. Before he died, he had a collect of poems and motivational stories he wanted in a book. Knowing how much my father loves reading I thought it would serve as a great project. I took away from this experience that when tackling a new project, use something personal so when you finish you’ll have knowledge and a product you can share. I’m including a one story and the complete PDF and ePub files.

Make a commitment for 2011. By the same time next year, tackle a personal project that you can share with family and friends. Enjoy!

By Helping you, I’m Helping Myself

The story of a cancer patient and the lessons  learned from the opportunity…
“No matter what kind of person you are, it will help to organize your ideas and present them to help others…” -John P. Vanelli

By Helping You I’m Helping Myself

Every morning the sun rises, the clouds are puffy white and there is a mild breeze blowing. Imagine in your mind this to be so, a perfect world if there can be. But it’s not! So, I begin my day in prayer. I pray mostly for myself and then for others. I conclude my prayer with a reading from “Daily Strength for Daily Needs” by Victor M. Parachin. On April 2, as I began to read I came across a paragraph that seemed to give me an answer of the opportunities one can get from the meaning of life.

“We gain strength by giving strength. Inherent in God’s call to act with love, kindness, and compassion is our own experience of healing through helping. It is a grace of God that when we ease the pain of others, our own burdens become lighter. The truth is that when we are busy serving others, life is, no longer meaningless.”

This was the way my mother lived her life, and tried to teach us daily. Somehow, I never excepted or was willing to give this theory much thought. Until now! You see my mother suffered from lung cancer and died very early in life. But in that short period of time she actually lived a full live, by helping others. Her standards were higher than most and it took this dread disease to show me the way. Looking back, I can see this way of life and reasons why she did the things she did. During the homily of her mass, the priest said these words:

A WOMAN OF QUIET COURAGE AND WARMTH – COMPASSION, STRENGTH, FIRMNESS OF PURPOSE WITH GENTLENESS OF MANNER RELUCTANCE TO BE IN THE FOREGROUND, YET SO ACTIVE IN THE BACKGROUND.
A WOMAN OF FAITH, WHOSE PRAYER WAS PROFOUND. HERITAGE TO HER FAMILY IS RICH HERITAGE OF UNSELFISH LOVE, A LOVE THAT IS SO EVIDENT AMONG YOU.

Why so much suffering for so good a woman? Why should she have died so soon?

The answers to these two questions was in the way my mother lived her life. She would always say: “Never trade places with anyone.” , “There is always room for one more”. “Be careful what you wish for , it may come true”., “Always thank God for what you have and not what you don’t have”. This is how my mother would talk to us when we had questions about life. At the time it seemed like riddles, but now I understand that she was preparing us for our life’s journey.

How do you gain strength or courage from illness or by helping others? I remember someone saying “ If you make someone happy, you’ll be happy too”. But how? Where can you find happiness from this type of disease? It took a long time for me to see the irony in these questions. By helping someone you help yourself. It came to me when I was lying in bed in the hospital. It was quite simple. Yes you should concentrate on helping yourself, but you should take time to help someone less fortunate. You see as I was lying in that bed I saw other people who were suffering more then me. I was really fortunate not to suffer like those people. Cancer is a disease that takes the very fiber of your being and transforms it into nothingness. At birth everyone was given the same formula of survival.  Positive attitude, humor, and the will to survive. These are traits that help you cope with illness, depression, and hopelessness. However, during your life, man has influenced these traits and has changed them into what you think or do now. They say actions are stronger than words, and what you see or do will reflect what type of character you have. These traits effect everyone, rich or poor, healthy or ill.

Life is what you make of it. You can go through life happy or sad, you can acquire wealth, debt, or live life in hopelessness. You see life has choices. And for every choice you make it carries with it consequences. Opportunity is what you make from these choices. By helping you I help myself, that’s the choice I will live with…Thanks Mom!

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The Mighty Protector

From a piece of steel you were  forged with fire, a heart made of gold and a spirit filled with desire.

You are the sword of hope for the good in others you seek, you fight the fight of righteousness you are the protector of the weak.

Ready to give your cloak for a needy soul, is what makes you special it’s what makes you whole.

While others may not understand why you use your powers so strong, I believe you use your strength to right what once was wrong.

So keep your courageous sword drawn high with full power and might, continue to be our mighty protector and keep us safe until the morning light.

- Robert Louis Vanelli

After I finished, I could see the wheels in his head turning. About 30 minutes later, he comes to me and reads the letter he wrote to our soldier, including my poem. When I thought I couldn’t be any more proud, he recited a poem he wrote for the soldier;

The Courageous Soldier

It takes a deal of strength
to stare down the barrel of a loaded gun.
Its no problem for you
you are the chosen one

Some wars are civil
brother against brother
You trade your mindset
one for another

You are an inspiration
this will always be true
get lost in your world of wisdom
let it make you strive to be you

A hero of war
exactly what we see
If it means a lot to you
then it means a lot to me

-Alec Vanelli

After he read it to me, he saw the wheels in my head turning. He smiled and said, “We are going to do a photo shoot of a soldier aren’t we.” In the morning I’m going to start making a few calls!

Creative inspiration is all around us!

The geek side of me synchronized her e-mail to her many gadgets. She can check her email from her iPod, android, wii and new laptop. I also installed a wireless print server so she can print from any device. I actually got this idea from Terry White.

Using our talents as photographers, Alec and I are doing a photo shoot of Maria with family and friends.

Last year, our father turned 85. At the last minute, we were each asked to make a toast. Ironically, my toast was on my family’s many talents. After the party, Maria asked if I could write my toast for her. A year went by and I still didn’t do it. On the plane home from Photoshop World, I tearfully wrote the toast and created a hard cover book from blurp. I’ve attached the toast at the end of the article. It’s a quick 4 minute read.

The point of this post is to remind us we all have talents. When we share them with others, we give them the perfect gift!

As we prepared for my father’s 85th birthday, I couldn’t help but notice how my family came together and used their talents to make the event possible. I’m not sure if it was the spirit of the event or staying in the house I grew up in that triggered my childhood memories. The house seemed to have a special spirit of its own. From fake errands to the basement only to have your brothers shut the lights off on you to stealing food off each others plates, there was laughter and joy all around us. It was as if our late brother John and our mother were there doing what they always did best, making people feel comfortable enough to laugh out loud.

Poppa, true to form, had different projects for us to work on not realizing we were scrambling to prepare for the party. Each of us did these projects without realizing we were doing them. He has a way of planting a seed in our heads that gets the ball rolling.

Tommy was down stairs making a bridge for Poppa’s new train set. He patiently cut what looked like 50 squares to make one pillar of the bridge. I always remembered how talented Tommy was with wood and creating works of art.

The house had the familiar Vanelli smell of  food. This time it wasn’t our mother or aunts cooking, but our brother Joey. I was and still am amazed how Joey is able to look into a refrigerator, and with just a few ingredients, make an incredible meal. As kids, I would go to the park and play while he would stay home and perfect his baking skills. When we were done, my friends would beg to come over and be Joey’s taste test subjects.

Then there was Tony. When we needed something for the party, Tony was the sibling to call. He always knows a guy who knows another guy that can get you anything you want! People will do extra ordinary things for him because of his generosity for helping others.

The head of all this organizing was our sister Maria. She would put us on a task, and with guidance from afar, made sure it was complete. Maria fell into this role at a young age when our mother died. She was there when we succeeded and there to encourage us when we didn’t. She always had a way to bring out our talents and was never afraid to tell us when we were wasting them. With her incredible talent, it was natural that she became a teacher. She has instilled these values into hundreds of minds throughout the years.

I had the honor of recording this event through photography. Being the last of six, there are very few photos of me. Poppa said I took the family’s photos even before I was born. My siblings joked I was adopted or Gypsies left me on the door step. Recently, Maria even went as far to say I was switched with a baby girl at birth so there wouldn’t be any competition for her. Adopted, switched at birth, or left on the door step: either way it’s an honor to be part of this family!

All these thoughts made me realize something special about our father. Not only did he give us these talents, he himself possesses each of them. Like John, Poppa has a way to make people feel comfortable enough to laugh out loud. They gravitate toward him and people just want to be around him. Much like Tony, Poppa knows a guy who knows another guy (and in Poppa’s case another guy) that can get you anything you need. People do this because of his love of helping others. For well over 30 years, his feeding the homeless is a prime example. Like Tommy, Poppa is a creative craftsman. His talent is seen everyday as people pass by the beautiful shrine of the Blessed Mother in our corner yard. He even built an incredible Christmas manger that includes rocks our mother collected from holy shrines over the years. Like Maria, Poppa is a teacher. He uses his talent as a Deacon to spread the good news of our Lord. He leads and teaches by example. Poppa’s pasta fagioli even makes Joey smile with pride. As I gathered photos for the event, I was astonished to learn Poppa took most of them with a Rangefinder camera and a bare bulb light he rigged from Sears.

To posses any one of these talents, let alone six, is amazing. To have the ability to instill these talents into others proves what an awe-inspiring and talented man he is!

Several years ago, my father requested I write a father’s day poem for him to share with his church. He wanted the poem to be generic enough to apply to all fathers. (Oh and he wanted it in 3 weeks) I struggled to write the poem. Every line I wrote kept coming back to my father and the lessons he taught me that shaped my life. Finally, I finished the poem that I felt all fathers have in common. Today I want to share with you the original poem I wrote for my dad. It was very easy for me to write. I just reflected on my childhood and the lessons he taught me. I hope you enjoy my childhood journey.

A Leader of  Leaders

The night was dark and the rain poured down cold, Reminiscing of the past I realized I had grown old. I let time fly by as I was too busy to observe, but you were always there for me and never too busy to give me encouraging words.

Putting another log on the fire I noticed the flames as they sparked,They reminded me of how you lead the family, the flames scattered but never grew apart.

You have a natural way that makes people see you as a leader and for that they listen, you capture their hearts with inspiration and your smile makes them glisten.

When I was just a young boy you told me make my own footsteps in the snow, I wanted to follow exactly in your steps but you sternly looked at me and said, “NO!” “Make your own footsteps in life that is why I gave you your own name. Never follow anyone’s footsteps, never be the same.”

These are words you spoke and with them you have shown me the way, I have created my own path in life and live by the philosophy you say. I thought you only made me feel that special way inside, but others have been caught by your dominating spirit and your impressionable pride.

You are a leader of leaders and your wisdom of words inspires, you are like a success magnet that motivates people to have desire.

Miracles happen every day and to see them makes me glad, but the most spectacular miracle God has ever shared was to give you to me as my Dad.

I love you Poppa!

From a piece of steel you were  forged with fire, a heart made of gold and a spirit filled with desire.

You are the sword of hope for the good in others you seek, you fight the fight of righteousness you are the protector of the weak.

Ready to give your cloak for a needy soul, is what makes you special it’s what makes you whole.

While others may not understand why you use your powers so strong, I believe you use your strength to right what once was wrong.

Keep your courageous sword drawn high with full power and might, continue to be our mighty protector and keep us safe until the morning light.

- Robert Louis Vanelli

A few friends; Michelle Tricca and Renae Bruce, came to town for a collaborative lighting class. I called in a few of my students to pose as models. We spent the day tweaking the lights for a dramatic effect. I’ll post the full results and what we worked on next week.

Several years ago I met Renae in Las Vegas at a Photoshop World convention. She was lost getting to class. In the mist of the crowd, I saw her frustrated, whispering a potty mouth word. I called her on it. We laugh and I helped her get to class. She joined our group and for the rest of Photoshop World she had a blast. When I got back to Melbourne, she wanted me to call a good friend of hers that just moved to Naples Florida from Hawaii. That call introduced me to an incredible photog, Michelle

Tricca. Michelle just switched from film to digital. She was getting frustrated with the new work flow. The following Photoshop World I took her with me. Michelle and I have been friends for years now and she continues to amaze me with her photography.

A couple of years ago Renae and her family moved to sunny Orlando Florida. We realized we haven’t done a shoot together since Vegas. We called Michelle and we set up a collaborative shoot. We drew on each others strengths and had a blast. We shared each o

thers favorite photographers, Photoshop tips and what’s new in the industry.

The shoot was years in the making, we just didn’t know it. It all started with a funny meeting at Photoshop World that now produced two good friends!

Using this same advice, I started to review a few of my favorite photographers. I wanted to see how they blended their photography talents with their editing skills. Notice I said editing skills? It doesn’t matter if they used Photoshop, Lightroom or another image editing software. I was looking for artist to emulate and then one found me!

I received a compliment from Trey Ratcliff on my post, “Adding Texture to an Image“. I was feeling pretty good. He mention he did a video series on textures and offered me to check it out. Being a HUGE fan of his work, of course I had to. Applying Larry’s advice, I dissect Trey’s technique. To say I’m excited is an understatement!

Trey blends several simple Photoshop tricks together to create a unique piece of art. He walks you through his entire work flow from choosing the textures to applying them in Photoshop. Some textures and techniques worked, some didn’t. He didn’t edit anything out of the video. You see exactly what he was thinking while creating his image. As an added bonus, he supplies all the textures for you!

My quick notes:

• look for textures with colors that will enhance your image.
• apply as many textures to an image as you want without over doing it.
• major use of layer mask, look for elements in the photo you want to keep and edit out the rest.
• merge the final layers, keeping the original as the top layer and use opacity to dial in the effect.
• Review Trey’s Video

Click here to view the embedded video.

When times are tough and disappointments get me down, I can see your shadow next to me reaching out before I touch the ground. As a thank you is about to be said you disappear without a trace, you never look for glory or fame just a simple smile filling my face. You are my source of strength and your words of wisdom inspire, you have given me the gift of Life and a spirit filled with desire. As I  journey through Life thoughts of you are etched in my mind, special moments we have shared will live in me until the end of time. -Robert Louis Vanelli